Liquorlip Loaded Gun
by AmazingWingedGirl
Summary: It's been two weeks since Sirius left on an Order mission. Now, his partner has returned, but Sirius is nowhere to be found. SB/MM Oneshot (Blackinnon); rated T for some heavy themes and language.


**Based on Liquorlip Loaded Gun by the band Sticky Fingers. This is just a oneshot that I had an idea for so I hope you guys like it and who knows, maybe one day I'll make this a chapter in a longer fic!**

 **Please read and review!**

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 **December 1979.**

An Order mission. That's what Sirius had said two weeks ago, and just like that, he'd been off. At the time, no one questioned it. They were all guilty of jumping up at odd hours at some point or another and darting off to round up rogue dementors, or down some Polyjuice Potion and infiltrate a Death Eater meeting. Hell, Frank and Alice still hadn't gotten back from their mission in Albania, and no one was worried. It was all just part of the job description, so why couldn't Marlene shake the feeling that something was wrong?

Part of it was simply that eating in the corner booth of the Leaky Cauldron just didn't feel the same anymore. Marlene had joined James and Lily for what used to be their entire group's weekly dinner out. But dinner and drinks turned into pulling their hair out over late-night strategy sessions and lukewarm butterbeers as the war grew more and more tumultuous. Now, the circular booth that used to be full of laughter and careless drinking was nearly empty, the occupants of its seats all scattered now that the war was truly upon them.

Remus was undercover and had been for months. He sent the occasional owl, but never could say much. Frank and Alice, on assignment. Mary, on assignment, probably with Fabian and Gideon; they were mentoring her. Dorcas had stopped coming a two weeks ago when her aunt was killed in a Death Eater raid, and no one wanted to be the one to impose on her family's grief; it was still too fresh. Sirius was… _on assignment_ , Marlene reminded herself, scolding her own mind for jumping to the worst conclusions. And Peter was late.

So there Marlene sat where two o'clock would be on the round table, looking away from James and Lily, who sat across from her. They'd taken to sitting much closer than they needed to ever since they got married, but Marlene couldn't fault them for that. If Sirius were there, she knew she'd want to be close to him, too.

"He's fine," James said with his mouth full, as if he could read Marlene's mind. "You know he is."

"What James is trying to say is don't worry about Sirius," Lily said with a pointed look at her husband, who shrugged as if to ask 'what?' "I bet you anything it's recon like Doe and Peter did a couple months back. He's probably just being thorough."

Marlene nodded and stirred her soup half-heartedly. She hated being the worried girlfriend, but it was unlike Sirius to leave for so long without even telling her what his mission was first.

"Don't look so happy," James said teasingly, and Lily smacked him. Marlene shook herself out of the fog she'd been in and mustered a smile.

"No, you're right. I'm being stupid."

Lily shook her head and reached across the table to squeeze Marlene's hand. "You're being smart. It's like Moody says, right?"

"Constant vigilance!" they all said in unison before bursting into laughter, and for a moment it was like old times, only with fewer people. Without saying a word, Marlene held up her butterbeer for a silent toast to nothing in particular, and they all drank.

Just then, the bell on the door clanged and Peter walked in, rubbing his hands together and bringing a gust of cold air with him. James immediately got to his feet and embraced the shorter boy, whose cheeks were flushed from the gale outside.

"Don't tell me I missed the food?" he asked nervously, noting the plates on the table.

"Tom'll come back, Wormy," Lily said sweetly, and slid her plate across the table so Peter could munch on a few of her leftover chips.

"Where is everyone?" Peter asked breathlessly, looking around at the table as if expecting the rest of their friends to pop out from under it and laugh, and then they could all dine together.

Lily smiled somewhat pityingly and looked at James, who was scratching the back of his head like a teacher who wants to avoid a tough question. "Just us tonight," Lily said, and Peter frowned. He'd been hoping to at least see more than just three familiar faces.

"Oh," Peter said dejectedly. "Sirius isn't coming?"

"Still on his mission," James said.

"He's…not back?" Peter asked hesitantly.

Marlene's head snapped up. "No. Why? Is he supposed to be?"

"I think so, yeah. He and Kingsley got assigned to go sweep Little Hangleton, I thought. Shouldn't take more than a couple days, right?"

Marlene's knuckles were turning white around her bottle and the four of them exchanged nervous glances. "Kingsley got back—"

"Last week, I know," James said, his jaw twitching a little as Lily intertwined her fingers with his. "I didn't know they were together on this one, I thought he was alone."

Marlene didn't know which was worse, the thought of Sirius doing a whole mission solo, or the reality that he'd been with Kingsley, but hadn't been heard from since the day he Apparated straight out of his and Marlene's living room with a quick quip of "duty calls!"

"Has no one heard form him?" Lily asked weakly, looking to James first and then Marlene, who shook her head. Peter looked extremely uncomfortable and felt sorry that he'd turned what should have been a nice (or at least, normal) night into this.

"I'm sorry," Peter began. "But…Kingsley would have said something, wouldn't he? We'd know by now if something went wrong, they wouldn't keep that from us."

"Pete's right," James said, breathing a sigh of relief. "But then where is he?"

Marlene had gotten to her feet. "I'm going to find out. Are you coming?" she added, sounding more frantic than she meant to. Just because Sirius had come back from the mission didn't mean he was okay—just last week Alison Downbright was killed in an ambush on her way home from an Order meeting.

"Yeah," James stood as well, tossing a few Galleons on the table to cover their meals. "I'll check my place. Lily, you and Wormtail want to try Hogsmeade?"

"I can't Apparate," Peter piped up, blushing. He'd never quite mastered the skill.

"I'll take you by Side-Along," Lily assured him with a pat on his shoulder, and Peter grinned a little sheepishly.

Marlene was growing impatient; didn't they realize the urgency of the situation? One of their best friends—her bloody _boyfriend_ —was missing!

"I'll check around the alley," she said shortly, and darted out of the Leaky Cauldron before the other three could hold her up any longer.

It was late, and most of the shops had closed for the night, so that narrowed down Marlene's search considerably. Unless Sirius was hiding out in the back of some store—and Marlene groaned at the thought, as she wouldn't put that past him—there were only so many places in Diagon Alley he could be. Unless, she thought as she rounded a corner and heard the sounds of off-key music and loud voices coming from a block or so down, unless he's not in _Diagon_ Alley.

"Gross," Marlene whispered under her breath as she shimmied down the narrow stone staircase between Eeylops Owl Emporium and the Apothecary down towards Knockturn Alley. The brick was wet with moss and moisture and Marlene gripped her wand tightly under her robes as she sidestepped a hag sitting on the ground, her knees drawn up to her chest as she muttered various incantations. "Sirius!" she whisper-shouted, and smiled apologetically at a group of goblins who jumped as she came up behind them.

She'd only been to Knockturn Alley once before, when she'd been tailing a suspected Death Eater. He'd turned out to be a black market trader, some bloke named Mundungus, but he agreed to work for the Order when she caught him, the alternative being a stint in Azkaban for contraband. If Sirius was here, Marlene thought, he'd better have a good reason.

And it appeared he did have a reason, though by Marlene's definition it was far from good. She spotted him a moment later—she'd know his figure anywhere—and felt a wave of relief wash over her entire being. It quickly turned to concern again when she got closer.

"Fuck, Sirius," Marlene said at the sight of him. Curled up was too forgiving a phrase—he was sprawled in the grimy snowbank lining the alleyway, a flask in his hand and his wand sticking haphazardly out of his back pocket like some Muggle radio antennae. "Fuck," she muttered again. He looked completely plastered and didn't even look up at the sound of her voice, but there would be time for questions later.

"Friend of yours?" Came a seedy voice from somewhere behind Marlene. She whirled, her wand outstretched, and found herself face to face with a short, bald man in a grubby apron. He held up both hands with a wicked sneer that revealed several spiky teeth and Marlene lowered her wand, but only slightly.

"Been here all week, he has," the man, who Marlene assumed was the owner of whatever pub had gotten Sirius so drunk. The peeling paint above the door he'd poked his head out of read The White Wyvern. "Make sure he never comes back," the stumpy man drawled angrily, then slammed the door in Marlene's face.

"Hnnnmggff." Sirius groaned on the ground as if on cue and Marlene took a deep breath before bending down to help him. Drinking, huh, that's why he hadn't come home? Merlin, would she have a few words to say to him about that.

"Come on, up you get," she groaned, trying to yank him into a sitting position. "Don't make me levitate you."

But that seemed more and more like the only plausible option. James had left for home and Lily and Peter were all the way in Hogsmeade, so Marlene was on her own to get her deadweight of a boyfriend home.

"Mobilicorpus." Marlene slung Sirius's arm over her shoulders and lifted him up; the charm wasn't really meant for full grown, inebriated men, but at least it took most of his weight off her. He mumbled something unintelligible, his head lolling from side to side like a baby who hasn't learned how to control its own body yet. "Stop that," Marlene snapped. She stooped to pick up Sirius's wand and, feeling his center of gravity change, Sirius tried to sit back in the snow. Since he was fighting Marlene's spell, through, he didn't quite manage to collapse and looked very odd with his body bent in half at the waist.

"Sirius–get– _up_!" Marlene finally got him to stand more or less upright again, and this time he managed to steady himself against the brick wall, one hand on the crumbling building and the other covering his face.

As angry as she was at him for disappearing like that and scaring them all half to death, Marlene's shoulders relaxed in pity as she looked him over. "Let's get you home, 'kay? It's not far, just hold onto me."

"I'm fine," Sirius spat out his first coherent words.

"Sure, and I'm a bloody grindylow," Marlene retorted. She had half a mind to use _Silencio_ on him too.

They finally made it in the front door of their shared flat and Marlene half-led, half-dragged Sirius to the bedroom, though not in their usual context. He collapsed onto the mattress still fully dressed and Marlene bent down to try and at least relieve him of the wet robes he was wearing.

"OW!" Marlene shouted; Sirius had kicked out and caught her in the gut when she tried to untie his shoes. "Calm down, I'm trying to help you!"

"M'bad," Sirius slurred, then promptly closed his eyes.

"Un- _fucking_ -believable," Marlene said through gritted teeth. She pulled Sirius's other shoe off forcefully and got him to roll over long enough to get him out of his cloak before giving up. She sent a quick Patronus to the others to confirm that she'd found Sirius, yes, he was alive, and yes, she had things under control, then sat down down at her desk chair with a huff, feeling a lump rising in her throat.

How could he show up like this after two weeks of absolutely no contact? Order mission or not, piss drunk and half frozen was never a good way to announce you've returned, and Marlene had every intention of letting Sirius know exactly that once he was sober enough to comprehend it.

Sirius shifted in his stupor and let out a miserable-sounding groan an hour or so later. Marlene had been dozing off but was startled awake by his raspy, alcohol-weakened voice. Sirius propped himself up on his elbows and even though the room was lit only by the small orb of soft light Marlene had conjured, he squinted like he was looking directly into the sun.

"Th'fuck?"

Marlene shook her head in sad awe. "Yeah, my thoughts exactly. What the hell, Sirius?"

"Where was I?" He mumbled, lying flat on his back with one arm thrown over his eyes.

Marlene folded her arms even though he couldn't see it and tried to put as much emphasis as she could on her next words to make sure they got through his thick skull. "In a snow bank. In _Knockturn Alley_."

"Shoulda left me there."

Marlene had an immediate physical reaction to his words and threw her hands up in frustration then folded them over her mouth, but for his sake she tried to keep the emotions at bay.

"See that, that right there is exactly why I didn't." She crossed the room and sat on the bed; Sirius raised his arm and opened one eye when he felt the bed dip with her weight. "What is going on with you?"

Sirius was quiet for a second, his jaw tense, then finally said, "a lot."

"Yeah, I know the feeling," Marlene scoffed; that was no good answer. "I meant why the fuck were you passed out in the snow? We thought you were on a mission."

"Was," Sirius responded laconically. "Did it. Took a few days. I jus' made a little stop on th'way back."

Marlene was livid. "A _little stop_? Is that what you call a fucking _bender_ , what the hell were you thinking?! What, you just figured you'd celebrate a successful mission with…with—?!" She gestured to his disheveled form, and continued without giving Sirius any time to interject. "And _don't_ try to use the excuse you were just drunk, I figured that much out for myself, thanks," she said as she waved a hand in front of her face. He absolutely reeked of firewhiskey and Merlin knows what else and Marlene made a mental note to wash the sheets in the morning.

"In case you haven't noticed," she continued, unable to stop her voice from shaking with anger, "there's a war on, here. And we need everyone we can get to fight for our side. The Order doesn't need one of its best men drinking himself half to death and—are you even _listening_ to me?"

He'd heard her, but in his state Sirius could barely comprehend what Marlene was saying, only that she was angry. His head spinning, Sirius swallowed hard, his eyes still squeezed shut, then tried to sit up. Marlene's eyes immediately widened; she knew exactly what was about to happen and had a split second to react. She barely swiped the garbage can from next to her bed stand in time before Sirius leaned over the side of the bed and vomited into it. It sounded like the entirety of the Black Lake was splattering all over whatever old receipts and bits of parchment were in there and Marlene made a face, but instinctively grabbed Sirius's hair and held it back for him. She looked away until she was sure everything had come back up, rubbing his back in slow circles.

Sirius spat into the trash can and wiped his mouth, but refused to lift his head. A moment later Marlene realized why, and felt a vicelike grip close around heart. He was crying.

"He's dead." The words sounded like they'd been wrenched out of him. "Regulus. He's dead."

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 **Hope you guys enjoyed this, all feedback is welcome!**

 **-C**


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